Friday, July 22, 2022

Post #570 - February 4, 1945 We're Going to Make Up for It Double When You Get Back and My Only Justification for Living is to Please You


Feb. 4, 1945

Phil, darling,

Here ’tis Sunday again – just another day closer to our reunion. I don't know exactly what to say to fill this up, but I'm going to try very hard to keep to single spacing.

As I told you in yesterday's v-mail, I spent last night with Fay. I was there till 12:30. She received still another bottle of perfume from Morris and her remark was, "How can I believe he is dead when these packages keep coming. We knitted, had some coffee and cake and talked about various things, She received a check for $475.20 as gratuity pay yesterday and it only served to sicken her more. Fay looks awful and though she can't cry when anyone is around, she more than makes up for it when she's alone. She must have dropped at least ten pounds and she certainly cannot afford it. I know how much my company means to her and I like Fay very much. It's funny how your opinion of people change when you really get to know them.

I don't like the stitch the girl at the yarn shop told me to do on Paul's vest, so I'm going to rip what I've made thus far and use my own stitch.

Adele woke at 7 this morning (darn it) so I got up very early for a change. After breakfast I cleaned our room and the living room. The living room was so filthy that I never remember it being so dirty in all the three years I live at 4906. There were cobwebs hanging all over the place and dust about a inch thick on the floor. If there's anything that really gets me down and disgusted it's that. I also note that our parlor covers are going to the dogs. The edges (the binding) are all frayed. I don't care a hang about anything, though, cause we're going to make up for it double when you get back - and then some. I want so to have a nice, clean, neat house with you and Adele and whoever else becomes a part of us in the future - and Mom. It sort of reminds me of the days when we pictured ourselves walking on the red brick linoleum that was to lay on our kitchen floor at 620 Andover Drive. Some day, huh -

About 11 I dressed Adele and we took a walk over to Sarah's apartment to see Sarah and Petey. Later we went to Betty's and then we came home for lunch. After lunch I put Adele to nap and washed some pieces. That just about brings me up to date, baby, cause here I am writing to my adored. Did I tell you that I wear the heart-shaped locket daily and that l’ve received more compliments on it than I expected. No one ever fails to notice it and thinks it is very different. Which reminds me, Eddie told me to tell you to try to get one of the fellows to make a plexi-glass picture frame for our picture on the chest. He says he's seen some beauts and they would go nice in our room. I wouldn't mind something unusual. I always did like something unusual - like you for instance. If you can get it - okay - and if not - well we'll Just forget about it. One thing I can't forget for even a minute is that I adore you, my dearest darling Phil.

Your Eve

4 February 1945  

My Darling,

Another full day, and now, at the end of it, I am ready to give forth on today's “news and views." The big news is that I finally received some mail this afternoon. They (the letters) were those of 2 Jan. (complete with the punkin's “writing”), a V-mail of 5 Jan. that arrived “as is”, and one dated 10 Jan. Most of the news was stale, of course, but any news is better than none, and I enjoyed having mail again, even if two of the three letters were mainly devoted to bawling me out for those days in December when I didn't write. You had every right to be burned up about it, Chippie, and I can only say how sorry I am that I failed you on those occasions. Believe me, darling, I am no more than human, and like all others of the species, I must inevitably fall short of your expectations. When that happens, I can only admit my fault and apologize most humbly - and that I do. I know that you make many sacrifices to get a letter off to me daily, Sweet, and I appreciate that fact, but it only makes me feel all the more unworthy of your consideration when I don't do as much. However, as much as I like getting your daily letters, I never intended that you should lose any sleep in order to make it possible, so I can only applaud your decision to discontinue that particular bit of condescension to my pleasure. I hope I never grow so selfish that I would expect you to inconvenience yourself that way on
my account. Believe me, baby, I am as disappointed with myself as you appear to be in me and if the perfectly human desire for retribution is in you, then you may take some consolation from the fact that it is a very bitter pill for me to swallow when I know that I have failed to live up to your high regard; when I feel myself unworthy. Since my only justification for living is to please you, my darling, I would be less than inconsiderate if I didn’t promise to try to do better henceforth. Please believe that I’ll try, Ev.

There were also a letter from Milt, dated 29 Dec, in which he tells about a few skirmishes with the japs, and three midget editions of the “Bulletin,” two through the good graces of Dot, and one from - I hardly believed my eyes - Lil. Lil added a few lines, which I've been puzzling over since. Evidently, she was (or is) sore at me for “bawling her out” and I'll be damned if I ever remember doing so - what reason could I possibly have? Too - she says, "where is my letter?" Hell - I was waiting for her! But I guess perhaps it is my place to write first - and I'll do so first chance I get.

As I said at the beginning honey, it was a very busy day for me, and I still haven't found the time to stop in at the PX. Any day, now. Only one more thing I want to say tonight - I love you so very much, Ev—

P.S. A hug and a kiss for Adele - My love to all. I'm still waiting a chance to write to Mom.

Lovingly, Your Phil

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