I intend to post almost daily, and in roughly chronological order, the thousands of pages of daily love letters that my parents sent to each other during WWII and any other documents that pertain to these letters..
It is almost 11 and I thought I'd knock this off just before hitting the hay. I had a very full day and am anxious to get to bed. I did a bit of shopping this morning and bought a roll of some cheese (It is very close to rocquefort), butter thins (I thought they would hold up better than any other type of cracker) and about a dozen peanut chew bars. My mother has a nice hard salami which I intend to include in the package. I'll bring home a carton from work tomorrow and Ed will pack it and mail it off the following day.
Since Syd got the additional five day pass and had been able to keep his appointment to have dinner with us, the whole Brownie outfit put in an appearance today, including Miriam with Anita Rae, and Sylvia. Adele was very friendly with everyone (she loves soldiers, honey, so it looks like you're going to make a big hit with her) especially Syd. She looked cute in her dubonnet jodphurs, yellow jersey, dubonnet suspenders and her little locket. We had a delicious dinner and the Browns left about 8:30. Adele gave her permission for Anita Rae to sleep in her crib and she even went so far as to tuck the blankets covering Anita in more securely. Anita is quite a big baby and very cute.
I wrote a letter to Rose Brand this afternoon and told her that I am returning the dress and socks she gifted Adele with when I was in New York. I meant to return them some time ago, but just couldn't find the time. I've been uncommonly busy these past few weeks.
I knitted most all of last night and tonight and finished the back of Paul's vest. Tonight I managed to get around to starting the front and completed one inch of the border. I expect to finish the rest before the week is out, but I'll have to work on it daily to do that.
The news continues good, but it sets so "draggy" at times that one can't help but wonder when and if this war will ever end. (can't help chafing at the bit now and then). I'm so very anxious to see you, baby, with my very own eyes. I wonder, time and again, how our first meeting will come about, how we'll react and what we’ll say. I keep wondering if there will be any great change noticeable in either of us, for, after all, it isn't months, but years that we shall have been apart. When I say "changed" I don't mean our feelings but our thoughts and actions. I wonder about this and wonder about that and just wind up "wondering". I remember how queer you first felt when you came home after a few weeks in the service and felt embarrassed (?) about undressing in my presence. I think I shall be the embarrassed one this time. What about you? (What a question!). (Well, I had to fill this up somehow!) But before I fall asleep on you (what a prospect!) I'll say goodnight, baby, I love you dearly and wait, most impatiently, for the day when I will be
No mall again today and I'm at a loss for words. Need I add how disgusted I am with the mail situation? There was your Dec. bond, so at least the matter of the bonds is cleared and you may inform them of such when they notify you.
I had decided to skip writing today, but if you will put up with these constant v-mails, I'm willing to write them. Besides, I believe they are reaching you much better than ordinary mail. Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to write more v-mail too, though I dislike it, but some mail is better then no mall.
Did I say Spring is here? Don't quote me on that - for today we had another heavy snowstorm, Snow, Snow, Snow! I worked overtime with my dad to help clean up some of the work. Adele napped this afternoon and instead of doing some work at home I felt it would be just as well to get things done at work, thereby making the coming week easier - I hope.
My dad got two more large chocolate bars for the package I am readying now and another pack of cigarettes. I'm going to try to get over to 11th St. tonight and finish buying those few things I need to complete the package, but don't be angry if I can't make it. All my plans go astray anyhow, so I’ll do my very best.
I knitted on Paul’s vest until almost 12 last night and after what seems an eternity I've finally arrived at the armhole of the back (the sweater is so long, but that's the way Ethel wants it - and it's a beauty). Paul is still wearing that little blue vest I made for him some four years ago and she expects him to wear this one just as long.
I haven't anything planned for this evening. Most likely I'll knit some more because I want to get finished, I have to make Adele something for the Spring cause she's almost bare when it comes to sweaters (yep - with all my knitting). I have to wash the sweaters daily and that's very hard on them. Hereafter, however, I shall make her dark colors, so It won't be necessary to wash them daily and then they'll hold up longer.
Tomorrow marks the year and a half mark that you are in England and the six year mark that was your Dad's passing. (Can't think of much else to say). Ed and Jack love to fool around with Adele and they have grand times together. She loves when they dance with her and I wish you could see her imitate them "jittabug". Some day -
Last night the entire Feldman [sic. clan] came over expressly for the purpose of seeing their darling Adele. It's wonderful the way the friendship continues. I adore you, baby mine, and I wish very much that I could take you into my arms and kiss you and tell you as much.
I'm literally fed up to the ears with the maIl situation. If there's anything that gets on my nerves It's when the mail falls behind so miserably. It's true that I received your v-mail of 6/Feb. two days ago, but what has happened to the mail between the 26/Jan and 6/Feb.? There are still plenty of dates to be filled in for January and I can't understand the ways of the post office at times, It seems to me that you are receiving my mail even though the dates are mixed up. In three weeks I've had exactly two old letters from you and the v-mall. But before I go off the deep end, suppose I change the subject.
I didn't tell you in yesterday's letter that I received a cute Valentine from Hal for Adele. Also in yesterday's mall was a letter from Milt and one from Gloria. There was no mail whatever today - but let's get off the mail question - It annoys me.
I felt sort of tired all day due to the lateness of my period, but there is no let up at the place. This is the busiest season and boy oh boy there is no end. Regardless of the amount of work expected I take my sweet time about whatever I do. I've been working on Paul's vest the past few nights and intend to work on it a while before getting to bed this evening. I had a very big week again and believe I put in something like 42 hours. Anne made a mistake of an hour in my pay last week, so that extra hour raises my pay considerably this week. In fact, instead of getting my usual 75¢ per hour, I’ll get paid for time and a half or $1.13 this week. Not bad, eh? I think i'm going to treat myself to a new dress (I should use the plural for I'm gettin' the urge to shop again). Gee, honey, Spring is in the air and it's beginning to get me. This morning when I took Adele over to my mother's, the birds were perched in the trees and were talking to each other very loudly. When I first walked out I couldn't imagine where all the racket was coming from, and was quite surprised to find such little birds making such noises. Adele was very amused with the goings on.
I believe Harry is making out fairly well now that the warmer weather is coming on. He ought to do very well this summer. He can't wait for the hot weather to set in. He leaves the house about 9 or a bit later each morning and gets home anywhere from 7 to 8 each evening. The fact that he is his own boss and whatever he makes is his is satisfaction to its utmost for him and he seems very well satisfied with the whole setup. Of course he never did like dirty work, but he likes it better than working for someone else, Baby, there is nothing like your own business and the proof of it is right under my eyes each day at Bellet's. Of course I realize that conditions today are much different from what they used to be, but nevertheless a business man is always better off than a working man. I keep wondering if it will work out for you to team up with Jack. Somehow I have my doubts. But I see I've filled in this sheet, so I'll close now, dearest one, with old but ever warming, I love you so much!
Am starting to bang this out at the office just before going home. I haven't reminded you for some time that I still keep our "date" each day at 5 o'clock. At that time, honey, I take you into my arms and just love you up. I think how nice it would be if I could snuggle up close to you under the covers. I miss you so much, dearest!
I felt "extra special" lousy today. I was supposed to become unwell on Saturday and it just put in an appearance today. Each minute seemed like a year and I'm grateful that it is just about 6 o'clock. We are very busy these days and I never seem to be able to get enough done, so I've been coming in a little earlier each day.
I wrote to Seymour last night and then went over to Fay's. She was baking a cake. I watched her and knitted on Paul's vest. I left her place at 12, took a shower and went to bed.
Syd went back to camp yesterday (his 30 days were up) and lo and behold, he received a five day pass to go right back home again. Maybe he'll be lucky enough to remain in the States for some time. Need I say how happy the Browns Are!
Eddie went into town yesterday to attend to some business at the Customs House and shopped around for clothes the while. Being an ex-serviceman, many of the stores allow from 10 to 25% off. One fellow is willing to give him three stunning suits that retail for about $43 each for $100. My dad is going down with him on Saturday to have a look at them to determine whether or not it is worth the money. I'm letting Ed wear your tan coat temporarily (he doesn't wear his uniform all day cause he would need a press job daily) till he gets his own clothes, which should be sometime within the next week. I was looking at your tan felt hat with the green band the other day and it looks just as nice as it did when we bought it. Gosh but I'd like to see you in both coat and hat!
I ripped the stockings I bought the other day. It was through no fault of mine - It's just faulty stockings, Imagine, you pay $1 for a pair of stockings, wear them once and bingo! I never had that kind of trouble before, but I guess there's always a first time.
You could smell Spring in the air today and most of the snow of Tuesday has disappeared. I certainly hope it was our last snow for the season. The days are getting longer too, in fact it's still light when we get home between six-thirty and seven. Adele saw Goldie writing a letter the other night and told her to tell her daddy that "I a dood dirl". I love you, sweet, and as Adele would say, “I yove you".
This morning, as I usually do, I called Fay. She told me that she received a purple heart certificate for wounds that Morris received resulting in death. Heretofore she thought he had been killed immediately, as stated in the War Dept’s telegram, but now she's wondering just what did happen and how long he had to suffer before the end came. It's all very aggravating to say the least.
Haven't heard from Dot as yet, but when I called her mother I learned that she arrived 24 hours late due to some sort of a train wreck. I hope to hear from her today. For your benefit, sweet, I am writing this prior to leaving for work and I don't have to tell you how I am looking forward to receiving some mail from you. Tomorrow will be two weeks since I had a "real" letter.
Last night I wrote to Jack N. and Milt Brown. I'm back on my correspondence and am trying to catch up again.
Hooray! Here I am back from work and there is a most welcome v-mail from you, baby, one dated 2/6. It was crammed, cause you had received my long letter of Jan 16th, which I remember very distinctly. I can't, however, recall what I said to lead you to believe that something was wrong with Jack Gutkin. There is nothing wrote [sic wrong] with him. The family is merely trying to have him transferred back to the States to help ease their feelings, if such is permitted.
After waiting all this time for a letter, I don't have to tell you, sweet, just how happy I feel about the whole thing. Gosh, what a little v-mail can do! I received a long letter from Snuff, baring most of his fears and telling me how glad he is that Dot is there. He says he can stand most anything with her around and after being with her for five minutes he felt that they had never been separated. Do you think we’ll feel that way too? I'm reasonably sure of it, though there has been quite a break, though it has just been physically.
A fellow from the Brunel Studios was around today and sold coupons for 50¢, so Mom bought one for me. Now I've got two coupons for 8x10 colored oil paintings. I intended to take Adele down today, but have again postponed the trip due to the bad weather. The ground is piled with ice and snow once more - darn it! I stopped over to Fay’s this morning and she showed me the certificate and another one signed by the President. She asked me to please drop in for a few minutes before going to work and naturally I obliged. Each time I gaze at those papers I feel a terrible catch in my heart. More tomorrow, baby mine, and I guess you know that I just adore you, yeh, just.
Your Eve
14 February 1945
Eve, Dearest,
I was sure there would be some long overdue Air Mail for me today, but nothing doing - nary a letter of any kind. Aside from the fact that I’m kept plenty busy in the Orderly Room, there isn't much I can write about. I might mention that we had one of the three or four really nice days that England has each year today. It was a sunny, spring-like day that almost made one feel alive again. However, such days are not as welcome as you might think, ’cause when the balmy breezes blow, and everything looks cheerful and green in the sunlight, it only serves to accentuate the gloominess that is within me by contrast. It sounds silly, I know, that I miss you so terribly much after all this time. You might think I would get used to being without you by now, and I've made a real effort in that direction (in self defense), but I must confess that I failed miserably to do so. If there were only something in this environment with which I could occupy myself, or someone, who, in some way, might inspire some real affection in my heart, I might not be so desolate, but the fact is that you, and you alone, are the only person or agency that has the power to bring any measure of peace to my mind, or joy to my heart. I've been foolish enough to so commit my happiness in your keeping, that without you there is no other source for me. When I say that my life away from you is utterly without meaning, I mean it literally - and realizing that is a very stultifying state of mind to harbor, I've damned myself a thousand times for being unable to shake it off - rid myself of it, as most of the fellows seem to have succeeded in doing, but - well, all I can think about when my mind is not entirely occupied with something else, is how much I want to be with you - how sweet it would be to hold you in my arms, or even to be near you, so that my eyes and heart could be filled by the sight of you, and innumerable other fancies that are born both of my sore need of you and the knowledge that I need nothing until I have you. Sometimes I wonder if Adele, in herself, could fill any part of the great void in my heart - whether she could by her precious presence, in any measure, allay my overpowering loneliness for you. That thought, my Sweet, springs from the fact that I try to visualize or imagine how much she has benefitted you in this respect. I've come to the conclusion that she could fill me to overflowing with love and affection - but only temporarily - I would still want and need you just as desperately, once she were out of sight. I love you both so much, my darlings, that I am hardly anything at all beside being
Still no mall from you, but there were two nice letters from Milt Brown dated 1/31 and 2/5. The last mail from you stays at 1/26, so now you see just how poor my mail has been coming through. Do you know, sweet, that you have been receiving mall from me more quickly than I have been receiving it from you. I just hope that there will at least be a jackpot and that you haven't skipped writing a few days. I realize that you are kept very busy the first and last parts of the month, but I'm sure you found the time to write at least one letter. Maybe tomorrow, huh -
Seymour is in the South Pacific and is beginning to see some real aspects of the war. He has been requesting packages of can foods and the like, as the boys generally do when they get there.
Today, after a few days of nice weather, we were favored by a snowstorm that turned to rain in its late stages. We have had more darn snow this year than I ever remember seeing. I’ll certainly be glad when winter is over and we can walk on plain cement for a change. I only had an opportunity to stay out of my galoshes for just one day!
The other day Adele pulled a fast one on my mother. My mother had put her to nap on the cot and left the room. A few seconds later she returned to find no Adele. She started to yell Adele and it took a few seconds till she discovered that Adele had gotten off the cot (which is very low to the floor) and hidden behind it and all the while my mother called her name she kept very still. When my mother found her she didn't know whether to kiss her or slug her for the suspenseful moments. That’s Adele all over!
Eddle has been seeing this Ruth I mentioned some time ago about twice a week. He bought her a gorgeous Valentine gift - it's a mirrored jewel box with two pounds of candy inside. He refuses to allow himself to become serious as he wants to run around a little yet, but there is no doubt about it that she loves him. I won't be surprised if someday he marries her, but that's only what I think and I’d like it kept strictly between you and me. Her folks just can't make enough fuss about him.
My Aunt Gussie ls very well pleased with Meyer’s bride and is more than satisfied with his new status. It certainly was a rushed business, but I'm sure he knew what he was doing. Everything is so changed anymore that before you get used to one thing, up pops another. Boy I wouldn't mind getting stuck in a nice comfortable rut!
But I think I've just about had my say, don't you? So good night baby, and remember above all that I love you more each day, Darling -
Your Eve
13 February 1945
Darling Eve,
Your cheerful V-mail of 3 Feb arrived this afternoon, and it certainly made me feel good to know that you can occupy yourself with shopping for a red hand-bag and shoes, and giving dancing lessons to Jack and Eddie (although I suspect that “short pants" can show you a step or two by now)—and whaddya mean you “aim to put (me) in their class insofar as dancing in concerned"?? Are you insinuating that my dancing leaves something to be desired? Dontanswerthat! Seriously, tho’, sweetie-pants, (mind if a call you sweetie-pants?) - I'd give much to be allowed the privilege of dancing with you again, and you can tell your kid brothers for me that they’re damned lucky to have you for a sister and dancing partner, and that I envy them greatly. l am disappointed, tho’, to hear that you haven’t gotten around to having Adele's picture made. I thought you might have it in the mail by 3 Feb.! And you say nothing about having your own picture took. I’m warning you, Chippie, you’d better send them soon! My patience is just about at the end of its tether, and I don’ mean to be put off any longer, so if you haven’t already done it yet, you'd better get hot - know what I mean? Don't you worry about any birthday present for me - this package will do nicely, thank you, but I wish you could have made it the pictures instead. After reading the closing phrase of your letter tho’ I guess I could forgive you just about anything, vixen. - Å “Frenchy kiss” indeed! Is it any wonder I have trouble visualizing you as Mrs. Strongin, and think of you still (after all these years) as the naughty Chippie that attracted me so devastatingly from the moment I first set startled eyes on her? How different that Chippie from the staid young matron I said a reluctant au revoir to on that never to be forgotten night in August of 1943! I can truthfully say I love the two of you, Ev. No, t wouldn't say which of the two I love the most - even if I knew, which I don't! (I'm no fool-) -- But how the hell did I get into this? What I started out to say was - today was another nice day - and another busy one. Last night wasn't bad, either, 'cause "Up in Arms" was better than my fondest expectations. More specifically, Danny Kaye was a revelation! It is beyond my meager powers to put his talent into words (besides, I don't have the time), but take my word for it, Sweet, you have to see him to believe him! He's positively the greatest novelty in pictures since Shirley Temple and the Marx Brothers. Dinah Shore wasn’t hard to take, either. Her voice is pure velvet, and I love to listen to it. She's no slouch as a comedienne, either, and the beautiful (but more colorful than beautiful) Constance Dowling had to look plenty sharp to keep her from stealing the feminine interest. For my money, I'd much rather hear Dinah sing than just stare at Connie's cuteness. The picture has everything, Chippie, and I missed you very much all the time, ’cause I know you'd love it. See it, if you possibly can, Ev. I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Take Mom - she goes for the kind of stuff that Danny Kaye puts out, and she'll love the technicolor. Klein was with me, and he just raved and raved and wanted to see it again, and Klein isn’t easily impressed, believe me.
Well, darling, that's about all there is to tell for now, and it's too damned late to do a thing but go to bed. Yeah - I know - I was thinking that, too - damn it! But - (all together now—) THERE'LL COME A DAY—you bet your sweet life there will! Until then, remember that I’m loving you every minute, baby. Kiss my punkin for me
will you, Sweet? Love to all. - One minute, though, I think I’ve had an inspiration - yep - sho 'nuff! It goes something like this:
If in your lovely bed tonight,
You chance to lie awake - while Thinking of your “soldier boy”
Yearning for a once-known joy.
Let this thought your bosom calm Grieve no more, for here's the balm:
Before leaving for the base theater to see "Up in Arms" with Danny Kaye, Dinah Shore and others, I want to make sure my daily stint is completed, so if I can think of anything to say (and I'm not at all sure that I can) I'll get on with it—
The weather has warmed up considerably, but not so much that we’re removing our jackets. We’re just not freezing anymore.
It was another busy day for me, ’cause I had the February payroll to get out. Last month I did it alone but this month Stahl helped me out. He typed as I dictated, and it went pretty smoothly except for the inevitable errors. Anyhow, this kept me occupied most of the day. Tomorrow, among other things, I have the “Bond Issuance Schedule” to type. That reminds me, Sweet—I cancelled my allotment for War Bonds. I figure it's about time I started to save some ready cash. As I told you some weeks ago, we have a great proportion of our savings tied up in bonds, and it’s high time we begin to build a cash reserve. I don’t think I’ll be able to save much; if anything, out of this month's pay, especially if I take that furlough I told you about yesterday, and I must leave myself a few extra pounds to tide me over the birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, etc. You see, Sweet, if I'm to buy you and the Moms anything, I have to order two months in advance, so it's not going to be easy to manage this month. Once I get straightened out, though, I'll bank any excess funds I may have in “Soldiers Deposits,” which, incidentally, draws 4% interest. The last bond you receive should be dated 1 Jan. ’45.
There was no mail for me today, but if you have been writing as per usual I should be getting a slew of Air Mail letters any day now. In the meantime, I'm kinda stuck for things to tell you. You can understand from some of the above, honey, that I didn't get much of a chance to do anything about getting to the PX, and I can't find a box to ship the "whatsit” in. Right now, times a-wastin'—and if I mean to see "Up in Arms" tonight, I'd better get a move on. I'm rather eager to see this Danny Kaye (remember Helen’s records?), and I hear he's a wow in this.—Tell you about it tomorrow, Baby. Until then, I am
Your adoring Phil
P.S. Best love to the punkin, and all - of course!
